I'm a Good Listener

Earlier tonight I went on a first date with a guy. After previously proclaiming that one of his talents was being a good listener and not talking all about himself on dates, he proceeded to talk all about himself for the majority of the evening. Even better, at least 75% of what he shared was information about exes and bad dates that he had been on. He told me about his ex-fiance who he had been with for 5 years who, 2 months before the wedding, he decided he was not ready to marry and so instead of calling off the wedding he "became an alcoholic" and began staying out all night until she finally called it off. He told me about the girl who offered other guys her phone number while they were on a date. He told me about the girl who asked to have sex with him in her car after their first date- shortly before she informed him that she had herpes. He told me about the girl who asked to give him a blowjob after their first date- shortly before her parents arrived. Although riveted by the conversation, I quickly felt this may not be the best match for me. So I said good night and went home- shortly after having sex with him in my car.

Just kidding.