Break Up Blog

So I guess I need to report that Guy Friend and I broke up. Although this is sad news for Guy Friend and I, it is clearly amazing news for the blog as it means you'll all have something to read again (because I know you've all stopped reading completely since I stopped blogging). Guy Friend and I seem to have had a pretty fairytale breakup (caring, mutual, non-hostile, healthy) and are on excellent terms. In many, many ways this was the best relationship I've ever had and also the best breakup.

I'm not ready to start dating again, but have already been asked out by several guys who either heard that we broke up or just cosmically have good ego-stroking timing. Below is the list of excuses I've used in my head for why I don't want to go out with these guys:

1. He's too young
2. He lives too far away
3. He doesn't get my sense of humor
4. He drinks too much
5. He hunts turkeys
6. He's a faster runner than I am
7. He's a Republican
8. He hunts deer
9. He's a slower runner than I am
10. I don't want to cross the Bay Bridge

Some excuses may be more legit than others. Leave me alone, I'll get back in the game when I'm ready!

Are You Ready For Your Close-Up?

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in my office and the new tech guy in the district came in and asked me if I would be willing to be in some pictures showing off some of the newer equipment that the district had acquired. The pictures would be placed on a display board. I agreed, assuming that I had been asked because I was available/not in the middle of teaching a class. New Tech Guy then asked me what time would work for me the following day. I then realized I had been handpicked for this project. Out of all of the staff in all of the world, I had been chosen to model fancy projectors. We set up a time and the next afternoon I sat in my office watching the clock and hoping he would forget. I was happy to help if I was chosen just because I was there (just being there really is a great talent of mine), but some thought had to have gone into choosing me for this great honor, and that made me uncomfortable. Right on schedule, New Tech Guy shows up at my office door and asks me if I'm "ready for my close-up." Oh boy. While taking the pictures, New Tech Guy informs me that (1)I look much more like an elementary school teacher than the elementary school teacher whose room we are using, (2) I could be a hand model, and (3) I look really great and natural in my pictures. After considering a career change, I went back to my office and locked my door. I'm 75% sure that the tech department now has a life size cut-out of me in their office.