Charles: Thank god for redheads.
Charles: How is life?
Me: Good, you?
Charles: all good. still childless..
Me: Well, that's good.
Charles: what do you think about a redheaded puerto rican baby girl?
Me: Sounds like a good looking child.
Charles: I say we do it.
Me: sure
Charles: ok. Fedex me your box and we'll make it happen.
Me: Did you just say 'fedex me your box'?????
Charles: LMAO. funny shit huh?
Me: you are one classy guy
Charles: I try really hard. I just came up with that one too. I thought it was pretty good.
Me: I can't believe you have ever gotten laid.
Charles: I can't believe you don't have five of my kids.
Charles: So- do you prefer asian porn or latin porn?
Charles: Ok, serious question.
Me: Yes?
Charles: Did your boobs get bigger? They look fucking huge in pictures!!
I will be spending the rest of the evening rethining my Facebook friend list...
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ReplyDeleteDamn...
ReplyDeleteWhy do guys do things like this? Does it work? Am I missing something?
Maybe the reason I'm striking out with the ladies is because I'm not asking them to mail me their girlie parts. Or maybe I'm not complimenting their breasts enough or something...
That's it. The next time I see a chick, I'm gonna be all like "Damn, baby, your tits are bodacious! Wanna bear my children? Send me your genitals in a UPS box..."
I typed that satirically and even I'm repulsed...