Are You Ready For Your Close-Up?

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in my office and the new tech guy in the district came in and asked me if I would be willing to be in some pictures showing off some of the newer equipment that the district had acquired. The pictures would be placed on a display board. I agreed, assuming that I had been asked because I was available/not in the middle of teaching a class. New Tech Guy then asked me what time would work for me the following day. I then realized I had been handpicked for this project. Out of all of the staff in all of the world, I had been chosen to model fancy projectors. We set up a time and the next afternoon I sat in my office watching the clock and hoping he would forget. I was happy to help if I was chosen just because I was there (just being there really is a great talent of mine), but some thought had to have gone into choosing me for this great honor, and that made me uncomfortable. Right on schedule, New Tech Guy shows up at my office door and asks me if I'm "ready for my close-up." Oh boy. While taking the pictures, New Tech Guy informs me that (1)I look much more like an elementary school teacher than the elementary school teacher whose room we are using, (2) I could be a hand model, and (3) I look really great and natural in my pictures. After considering a career change, I went back to my office and locked my door. I'm 75% sure that the tech department now has a life size cut-out of me in their office.

Abnormal Psych

Work has been incredibly stressful lately. Last night I was sleeping at my boyfriend's house and I woke up at 1am. After agonizing about stuff at work for about an hour and not being to fall back asleep, I decided that it was time that he didn't sleep either and I started talking to him. After a few minutes he got up, grabbed a flashlight and started digging in his closet for something. He eventually found what he was looking for and got back in bed.

(What was he looking for, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.)

He was looking for his abnormal psychology book from college. Once back in bed, he pulls the blankets back up over both of us, puts his arm around me, opens up the book to the section about anxiety, and proceeds to read the highlighted portions to me. It was completely absurd (or maybe completely appropriate- same difference) and I couldn't help but laugh. I immediately relaxed and, after a little reading and a particularly good 'discussion' about Glee, I fell happily back to sleep.

Brilliant boyfriend.

Romantic Comedy Date

The other day my boyfriend and I went to see a romantic comedy. After the movie, he asked me "Is it strange that I identified more with the girl's character than anyone else in the movie?".

He then proceeded to chop down a tree, wrestle a bear and open a really tightly sealed jar. He's super masculine, I swear.

Butterflies and Baby Unicorns

Guy Friend is now officially my boyfriend. Last weekend he sat me down and said "I have a question for you; don't freak out." Then he asked me to be his girlfriend. I quickly weighed the pros and cons of saying yes. If I say no, my blog will live a long and healthy life. If I say yes, I'll be in a relationship with pretty much the most awesome guy on earth. It was a tough decision, but I went with 'yes.'

I really want to blog and make snarky, sarcastic comments about the stupid shit my boyfriend does- sadly my boyfriend is freaking amazing and I feel like I have butterflies and baby unicorns following me around all day.

This blog is going straight to hell.

10 Reasons Why It Works

Guy Friend and I are now dating. It's going incredibly well.

Here are 10 reasons why it works:
1. I'm obsessed with his roommates
2. He's slightly insane
(He plays baseball. The other night we were discussing how baseball players are extremely superstitious and sometimes do strange things. I asked what he did and he explained to me how he used to kick and throw the baseball bats around to "wake them up" if the team wasn't playing well- because sleepy bats are not going to help you win a game)
3. He uses semicolons in text messages
4. He pays more attention to the things I tell him than anyone ever has in my life. I think he may remember more about my likes and dislikes than I do.
5. He makes incredibly awkward comments that I find hilarious and finds my awkward statements equally amusing.
6. He lights my menorah (this is not a euphemism)
7. He lights my menorah (this is a euphemism)
8. He runs with me and then rubs my back as I nearly vomit because I ran too fast
9. Despite being from California, he acts like he's from the east coast (i.e., he's masculine in all the right ways and doesn't act like a pussy)
10. He quotes Glee during sex

She Seems Like Kind of a Freak

A few weeks ago I went out dancing with some friends. I went with a guy friend (who I was kind of into) and a bunch of his friends and met some of my friends there. We all had a ton of fun and at the end of the night I went into Guy Friend's house to hang out with him and his friends for a bit before going home. It turned out that one of the guys lived in my apartment complex and he invited me to come over for some lasagna. While I was starving, I didn't think going over was a good idea for a number of reasons. For one, I didn't want to give Guy Friend the wrong idea in case he was into me. Also, this guy seemed to like me and I wasn't sure going to his house at 3am was the smartest move if I didn't want to get more than lasagna. I asked for a rain check and headed home. By the time I got home, however, my desire for Italian food far outweighed my common sense and I decided to head over. When I got there he randomly mentioned that he had been texting with Guy Friend on his drive home, but wouldn't tell me what they were talking about. Clearly the texting was about me- I know this because the world revolves around me (and because I could tell by the look on Lasagna Guy's face and the fact that he refused to tell me what they were talking about). Lasagna Guy has the same phone as me, so I know how to use it. A few minutes later I inconspicuously pick the phone up and pretend to be fiddling with it. Obviously, what I'm actually doing it reading the text exchange. I'm REALLY not a fan of invading people's privacy and I know what I did was lame, but I had to know what they said. I will now share with you what I expected the conversation to say and what it actually said.

What I expected:
Lasagna Guy: So what's up with you and R.? She seems super neat.
Guy Friend: Oh, R, is just dandy. I think she's keen. I don't really know what's going with us.
Lasagna Guy: Alright, mind if I ask her out?

Reality:
Lasagna Guy: Maybe we should have run a train.
Guy Friend: Haha, maybe.
Lasagna guy: She seems like kind of a freak.

Awesome. Well, that is what I get for being a snoop.

Blog that Bitch

So we've already covered that I wash my hair with rainbows and should be sponsored by Plush. Well, according to my coworker, I apparently smell amazing as well.

(*Disclaimer: I do not smell amazing)

-Text conversation with coworker-

Coworker: Someone on train smells like yummy R.
Me: What????
Coworker: Your perfume. Someone got on BART and they smelled like you.
Me: I do not wear perfume ever. No body spray. Soap on special occasions...
Coworker: Well Tuesdays and Fridays must be special cause you smell good! Haha. I would know it anywhere. Is this bordering on creepy?
Me: No.
Coworker: Whew! Blog that bitch!

Well, ok...